I found this on a blog containing real life situations
Here is the summary of that :
My Wife posted: 07/06/06 at 12:24 PM
boballen [
more]
My wife and I got married 5 years ago and I met her while trying to learn self defense. She was one of the instructors. I am rather small 5'3" and weigh about 103 pounds. She is part Brazilian and was teaching karate as well as Brazilian Jiu Jitsui. My wife is 5'11" and weighs about 175 she is in very good shape. She said I was cute and everything was great and we started dating. After about 3 years into our marriage she stopped waxing her arms and legs and she has very hairy arms and legs (being Brazilian), much hairier than I am. Lately, she has been teasing me about this and saying that she is like the man in our relationship because she is bigger and hairier and better at self defense than me. I have accepted all my life that I am a small man and not very hairy , but her comments are affecting my self esteem.
I told her this and she tells me that is what turns her on about me that she is bigger and calls me her wife and laughs. She teases me about how much hairier she is than me and says that I am just jealous because i don't grow alot of hair. How can I get this to stop?
posted: 07/06/06 at 12:55 PM
xt1 [
more]
Kitty rubs against your leg for attention, if you want her to stop... deny the attention she'll seek it elsewhere. Do not let her comments affect you at all. Eventually she will see her comments are having no affect on you and there will be no reason for her to continue she'll become bored of doing it.
----------
xt1
posted: 07/06/06 at 1:12 PM
HellYaImNuts [
more]
How can you get this to stop?
By not putting up with it.
You have to let her know that the jokes are not helping your self esteem.
And why would anyone be jealous of hair growth? I don't get it.
I think you need to talk to your Wife again.
----------
~Love is a cycle. When you love, you get hurt. When you get hurt, you hate.
When you hate, you try to forget.
When you try to forget, you start missing.
When you start missing, you eventually will fall in love again~
posted: 07/06/06 at 1:27 PM
pondman [
more]
You married an amazon! What a stud!
posted: 07/06/06 at 2:11 PM
boballen [
more]
I have she is a very beautiful woman, but she says in Brazil it is considered sexy. I feel being a man I should be hairier than her that is why and when we are in public people stare.
posted: 07/07/06 at 12:14 AM
sassylass38 [
more]
Bob, you are what you are - the way the good Lord made you. Why fret over the fact that you're not hairier? That's silly, when you think about it - it's not something you can change. Do you know how many men are embarrassed to be so hairy? My brother inlay is Italian and very hairy - such that he has to get his back hair waxed otherwise he looks like the Sasquatch.
The measure of a man is NOT based on how hairy he is.
And you should remind your wife - you're not in Brazil. What's considered sexy there may not be the case elsewhere.
I don't care how beautiful she is, she sounds very mentally abusive , twisted and cruel - not to mention not too bright to make fun of you for things that are out of your control - that were there when she first met you and agreed to marry you (your size/lack of hair).
How sad that she finds it humorous to make fun of you like she's doing, and to say hurtful, insensitive things that make you feel like less of a man/husband. Can you reallly respect someone so mean?
Spouses should treat one another as their best friend - and be considerate of one another's feelings, and surely not act or speak in such a way that it makes their spouse feel bad about themself.
Yes, you could let your wife know that these things hurt your feelings, but this stuff is common sense and one shouldn't have to tell their spouse that it's hurtful.
I don't know what to tell you. I'm sure you love your wife a lot but I simply couldn't be married to someone who would be so cruel and sick.
posted: 07/07/06 at 12:22 AM
banarabbyt1 [
more]
It sounds like she is teasing, but I'd tell her that it makes you unhappy and ask her to stop Again.
And when she starts teasing you like that, give her negative re-enforcement, ignore her or walk out, things like that, if she asks whats wrong tell her "how many times do I have to tell you I don't like to hear that?" Hopefully she'll finally stop.
posted: 07/07/06 at 7:15 AM
Poetman [
more]
To keep teasing you about something like that is extremely mean-spirited and hurtful.
You can't help your lesser hair status, it's part of who you are. She knew that when she married you and to flaunt her excessive hair in front of you is just plain cruel and uncalled for.
If she's not stopping, even knowing how much it's hurting you, I suggest you two get in and see a counselor...and if that doesn't get it into her head, you may want to consider moving on. People who tease and belittle like to feel their power and they don't often change.
Hang in there.
----------
Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
posted: 07/07/06 at 8:29 AM
boballen [
more]
Thank you all so much. I did talk to her about it and she apologized, she said she is completely happy that I do not have alot of body hair and that I am smaller than her and that was one of the things that attracted her to me. She said she loves me and that it turns her on that she is bigger than me and hairier than me, but I already am self conscious about my size (have been all of my life). She gets hit on all the time by men but turns them down and is completely faithful to me and says that she loves me for me. She says she was looking for someone smaller and less hairy than her and it is a turn on for her, but it is hard for me to deal with when my friends tease me and say, "wow your wife is hot, but why did she stop waxing her arms and legs". When they say that it is kind of embarrassing.
say what? posted: 07/07/06 at 9:18 AM
sassylass38 [
more]
quote:Originally posted by boballen
Thank you all so much. I did talk to her about it and she apologized, she said she is completely happy that I do not have alot of body hair and that I am smaller than her and that was one of the things that attracted her to me. She said she loves me and that it turns her on that she is bigger than me and hairier than me, but I already am self conscious about my size (have been all of my life). She gets hit on all the time by men but turns them down and is completely faithful to me and says that she loves me for me. She says she was looking for someone smaller and less hairy than her and it is a turn on for her, but it is hard for me to deal with when my friends tease me and say, "wow your wife is hot, but why did she stop waxing her arms and legs". When they say that it is kind of embarrassing.
Maybe it's just me but I find it sort of strange that a large woman would purposely seek out and be attracted to someone much smaller - and to actually say they're "turned on" by being bigger and hairier. That seems freaky to me.
Why do people make the comment about her not waxing her arms and legs - you mean she doesn't shave her legs, lets the hair grow on them?
Are you 2 into the whole domination/submission thing - where she likes to dominate you?
posted: 07/07/06 at 9:41 AM
Poetman [
more]
Or perhaps she's transgender...her spirit is male, but in a female body...
So, her letting the hair grow and being attracted to the smaller, less-hairy you is the male spirit coming out a bit..just a thought.
----------
Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
posted: 07/07/06 at 10:52 AM
boballen [
more]
No, we are not into the domination/submission thing, in fact our sex life is very normal. I would kind of go with theory 2 about a male spirit in a female body, however she is not attracted to females. The way she explained it, some men are turned on by fat women or petite women and she is turned on by the fact that I am smaller than her. I guess part of this is my fault because what I initialy liked about her was her athleticism, in fact I used to think before we started dating, "wow she kicks a**", but I guess when she says things like that it brings out my insecurities because I was ridiculed all my life pretty much for only being 5'4" and being skinny. I was not aware that she was attracted to me because of my physically attributes. I was attracted to her because she is so hot. Maybe she is turned on by this and her teasing me turns her on or commenting on things like my size or lack of hair even though she says she likes it. I will have to ask her.
posted: 07/07/06 at 11:10 AM
sassylass38 [
more]
But Bob, you didn't answer the question - why do the guys tease you about her not waxing her arms/legs -does she NOT wax/shave/remove the hair on her legs? Does she let itgrow? Why would they say that?
posted: 07/07/06 at 11:22 AM
Poetman [
more]
I'm not attracted to females in general either~and I myself, am trans, as is my gf in reverse.
It is very specifically *her* and no other woman that gets me turned on~why? Can't say but to any and all other women, I might as well not have a sex drive cause it simply doesn't react.
I hope your wife is not turned on by teasing or being mean, that would really be bad...and if so, you need to find out where it's coming from. I'm sure she doesn't want you hurting. And you are certainly *not* at fault for admiring her athleticism~who wouldn't? People who are in good shape are attractive~no two ways of slicing it. I still stand by my opinion that your smaller stature and lack of hair (by comparison) are neither excuse nor reason for her teasing you and she needs to stop or in time, her marriage will suffer.
----------
Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
posted: 07/07/06 at 11:25 AM
boballen [
more]
She lets it grow, she quit waxing her arms and legs, I never realized how hairy she was either, I mean she had some black fuzz on her stomach and back, but that was it.
posted: 07/07/06 at 11:46 AM
sassylass38 [
more]
Yikes - so she likes being hairy. Wow. Most women do anything they can to remove body hair. Don't you find it a huge turn off to be married to a woman who's intentionally hairy and therefore not very feminine?
So you mean she'll wear a dress or skirt and have hairy legs?
posted: 07/07/06 at 1:34 PM
boballen [
more]
Yes she will wear a skirt and a bathing suit to the beach we live in Florida, believe it or not men have commented on it being sexy, but I think they like her body mostly. She gre up for 16 years in Brazil where she states that it is a very erotic thing. I went on a few Brazilian websites and she was right, they do not shave. She said in Brazil it is a sign of a womans sexuality and how sexual she is, but the hair thing is not what bothers me. Just being smaller and her having more, I don't know manly attributes (being 7 inches taller and weighing 65 pounds more than me, being stronger, having more hair), she is very athletic and has 8 percent body fat from training her whole life, that makes me feel less of a man. I never really put alot of thought into it other than being self conscious about my size all my life until she started bringing it up.
posted: 07/07/06 at 2:51 PM
sassylass38 [
more]
Bob,
I'm confused here. In your original post you said you're 5'3" and that your wife is 5'11". Then in a subsequent response of yours, you said you're 5'4". Now in your most recent response, you mentioned that your wife is 7 inches taller than you (if she's 5'11", that would make you 5'2"). Hmmm. So which is it? No offense but your post seems odd to me - are you sure this is all true and you're not making up this story about being a tiny little guy who's married to a larger hairy women, just for a laugh? I've never heard that Brazilian women feel that female body hair is a sign of sexuality - and I find it very odd that men allegedly find your wife so sexy, despite the fact that she walks around with leg hair, etc. You indicated that you live in Florida. I have a very hard time believing that American men would be attracted to a hairy big woman - that just doesn't sound plausible to me at all.
posted: 07/08/06 at 8:16 AM
boballen [
more]
No, I am not making it up and if I were 5'2" she would be 9 inches taller. It is common in Brazil for women not to shave because I have seen them unshaven on Brazilian websites. Why would this be funny to anyone anyways. My wife is not some big hairy goon, she is in phenomenal shape and has abs and has 8% body fat. Men do consider her hot.
posted: 07/08/06 at 9:38 AM
banarabbyt1 [
more]
Meh, its YOUR wife- who cares what other people think? You guys are happy, let them talk all they want- in the end, you have the great wife.
Next time they say anything say "I like my wife that way, so you can shut up now.
"
Thats totally rude, its none of their busines if your wife shaves or not, heck I hate shaving and don't shave my legs hardly ever and my husband says he does not care- neither should you- its just freaking hair.
----------
